10 Questions with Sullivan Brown

Tell us one thing about you that the audience won’t already know.

Oh, that’s a good question… I know! I was nearly in a Jackie Chan movie. Yes, as a child. I was a child actor and I would always audition for many things. I would always get down to the final two and I’d never get it in the end. The film was Shanghai Knights. So, yeah, I was almost in Shanghai Knights with Jackie Chan.

Tell us the most annoying habit you or any of your NRB teammates have. 

I supposed this is technically a habit I have. I go through phases where I latch onto a phrase and then I’ll just say it all the time. It annoys me, I’m not sure it even annoys anyone else. There was a long period of time where I just kept saying, instead of a hundred percent, “a thousand percent.” I would just say it to everything, and I’d tell myself “No, stop. It’s awful,” and then I’d keep saying it anyway… And as for my NRB teammates’ annoying habits, well, I don’t think I can think of any to be fair. Dominic Allen is always worried that he’s going to die, even though he’s not. But that’s not really a habit, that’s just him being anxious. I can’t blame him for that. I can’t think of any others. We’re quite a nice crew.

What’s been your favourite game to play on NRB and why?

I’m going to exclude the big ones like Blood on the Clocktower because it’s just so big. And obviously all of the House Rules and the Monopoly, But… episodes have been fun in their own way, but also have been awful in their own way too. I would say Cosmic Encounters has always been great fun. I love playing that. That’s probably my favourite.

If your personality were a board game, which one would it be and why?

But Wait There’s More or Funemployed. I like games like that with constant adding and improvising, that kind of thing. There’s a game that we haven’t played yet on the channel called Monster Voices which I think is very similar to me. Basically, you get a picture of a monster and you have to try and do their voice for the other players. I think a game like that suits me down to a tee.

Is a Jaffa cake a biscuit or a cake? Show your workings out.

I don’t even have to do the working out because the British legal system already has. This went to court in the UK because the people who make Jaffa Cakes wanted to be designated as cakes because they’re on a lower tax band than biscuits, which is ridiculous when you think about it being that specific, but it’s true. So they proved in court that Jaffa Cakes are tiny cakes. They are cakes because when cakes go stale they go hard whereas biscuits go soft. And Jaffa Cakes, when they go stale, they go hard.

Have you ever considered cheating at a board game and if so, what was your self-justification? 

I am very firm about not cheating at board games. I have never cheated. I don’t like the idea of it. I don’t really see the point of it. Growing up, one of my sisters was a dirty rotten scoundrel. A cheat. Every game we played, she would cheat at it and I could see it brought her no joy in the end because every time we’d tell her, “We saw you cheat,” and she would reply “Oh no! I didn’t mean to.” And we’d argue with her that she definitely did because she just stole the money from the bank. Honestly, she’d always cheat. Every single time we played. It was like she couldn’t help herself. It wasn’t even like she was any good at it because we always caught her. Literally just last night I was playing a game of Wavelength with my family and my mum had to warn us all to watch out for my sister because of her cheating ways. Remember everyone, cheaters never win, and winners sometimes cheat… Wait, I’ve just realised that doesn’t work, does it? (Laughs)

Imagine board games are now sentient and can play themselves. Which game do you think would have the biggest ego, and which would be the most humble?

I think that Monopoly would have a huge ego that would be entirely undeserved. It would be going around telling everyone how incredibly popular it is, but simultaneously it would be deeply deeply insecure. As to the most humble, I think it’d be something like 6 Nimmt, or The Mind, or Cockroach Poker. Those simple card games that are remarkably cheap given how great they are.

If your NRB teammates were fruits, what would they be and why? 

I think Dom would be a pineapple because he’s quite spikey. Actually, I think Laurie would be a better pineapple. Dom would be a good lychee. I’ve never known anyone to dislike Blair, in the same way I’ve never known anyone to really dislike apples. I’m going to go with apples for her. Rosy would be a pomegranate. Something that would make people ask, “Why did you get that down at the shops, It’s mad!” Yeah, that’s Rosy. Tilly would be a plum. It suits her aura. Personally, I’d like to be a banana which is one of my favourite fruits. Everyone wants to be a strawberry of course, but I’m not arrogant. I’m not going to give myself that.

What’s your favourite joke of all time and why?

Okay, this, in my view, is the best joke that’s ever been told; 

This bloke is at the airport and he’s waiting for a flight. A fairly nondescript guy sits now next to him. Someone comes up to the guy and says, “Hey! Ralphie! Ralph! I haven’t seen you in ages. Where are you going? Rome? Oh, amazing! This city is beautiful. The food is beautiful. You’ll have a great time. See ya!” So the bloke thinks to himself, that’s kind of weird, two people who know each other meeting at the airport. Then he forgets about it. 

Anyways, so they’re queuing up for the flight and he’s behind this Ralphie guy. The person checking the passports checks Ralphie’s passport and says, “Ralphie! Wow, Ralphie. I can’t believe it’s you. How’re you doing? You’re going to Rome, are you? Fantastic. You’ll love it there. I’m going to tell everyone. They’re going to be so excited. Was lovely seeing you, Ralphie.” So Ralphie gets onto the plane. The guy gives the person checking passports his own passport, and they’re completely nonplussed. They do not react to him at all. 

The guy boards the plane and sits down, and guess who he is sitting next to? Ralphie! Then the pilot makes an announcement. “I just want to say a big thank you to Ralphie for flying with us today. We love you Ralphie. Keep up the good work! See you in Rome.” So now the guy really wants to know who this Ralphie is? Why does everyone know him? Does he work for an airline or something?

So they land in Rome and the guy gets a can to his hotel. When he arrives, the hotel manager is there and he’s asking him to sign in and do all the paperwork. While he’s doing that, the hotel manager looks over his shoulder and goes, “Ralphie! I can not believe it. You come to my hotel? I can not believe it. I am honoured for you to come my hotel. You come to Rome, you choose my hotel.” He grabs Ralphie’s face and starts to kiss him. “Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! You know what? There is a family of 5 staying in the best room. I’m going to kick them out. You can have the best room, Ralphie. You are the best man. The best man gets the best room in the whole hotel.”

The guy is now furious that Ralphie is here and he seems to know everyone. He gets his key and storms up to his hotel room. It’s driving him crazy. Who is this Ralphie? Everyone knows him. Everyone loves him. It doesn’t make sense. He decides that tomorrow he’s going to go to the Vatican City, see the pope, do a mass, and try to forget all about this Ralphie fella.

So the next day he goes along to the Vatican City and he goes to the big square. There are tens of thousands of people there, all waiting for mass to begin. The pope comes out onto the balcony and everyone goes crazy. People are holding their babies up to be blessed, others are screaming and cheering. It’s madness.

And then, after the pope has come out onto the balcony, someone else comes out onto the balcony. Yep – you guessed it. It’s Ralphie!

The audience go crazy for Ralphie. They’re way louder than they were for the pop. It’s like they weren’t even cheering for the pope, that’s how loud they are. They’re screaming, they’re crying, people are in floods of tears because they can’t believe the joy they’re feeling. The guy is just standing there watching all of this unfold around him. He’s flabbergasted. He turns around to a nearby local and says, “I’m sorry, mate. I might be stupid but who is that man standing on the balcony?” The local turns to him and replies, “I don’t know who he is but he has a damned cheek standing next to ol’ Ralphie!

And that is the single greatest joke of all time!